The LoveLife Blog: guidance on mindful, bodyful, soulful loving!


Non-Linear Love-Making: the Picnic Approach to Sex

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, March 17, 2019



The standard approach to sex is rather like a three course meal, it proceeds in set stages: you kiss a bit, fondle a bit (maybe give her an orgasm), then have vigorous intercourse until he comes. The End.

It’s not a bad model for sex, but it’s limited, and can get pretty boring over time.

I suggest you take a less lineal approach to sex and think of it less like a three-course meal and more like a picnic. At a picnic  everything is available in front of you and you can pick and choose whatever you want, in whatever quantity, at whatever pace, and in whatever order you please.  read more...



Be Real, Express Freely

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, December 30, 2018



There's a beautiful quote from Anais Nin:

There came a day when the flower realized that the pain of remaining tight in a bud was greater than the risk of opening up and blossoming. 


That's how people often feel about their sexuality before they come to see me. They can't bear being a tight bud any more, they can no longer deny their need to blossom. It's what I love in this work, whether it's with private clients or in the group workshops, people start to tap into their true selves and to allow themselves to be who they really are and express themselves honestly and openly.
 read more...



Gigglegasms

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, November 18, 2018




Have you ever had a gigglegasm?

Do you even know what a gigglegasm is? read more...



Evolve with the Seven Elements of Sexuality

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, November 04, 2018

Seven Elements of Sexuality

Over my years of clinical and academic involvement in sexuality (not to mention countless hours of personal ‘research’) I have identified seven underlying elements to our sexuality.

These elements are all essential to having a strong, healthy, integrated sexuality. If you are weak in any of them, your sexuality will be out of balance.

These elements are also developmental, each element includes and transcends the ones before. If you jump ahead before you’ve developed and integrated the earlier elements, that too will cause your sexuality to be out of balance. read more...



Sink In to Sync In

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, April 15, 2018



It's Autumn, the “season of mists and mellow fruitfulness” to quote Keats - a time of ripening and reaching fulfillment. Mmm, doesn’t that sound so sexual!

It’s not an intense, fiery time of year though and I don’t advocate an overly intense approach to sex.

Too many people go too far too quick, rushing into it, without allowing the time for the ‘ripening’ in order to achieve real sexual fulfillment.

Truly awesome sex always takes connection, a 'sinking in' within oneself and with each other. It’s different from the rapid-fire approach to sexual excitation, which is the more “normal” mode in this society. With this sinking in comes a ‘syncing in’, where you can let go and really feel each other, really tune in - and for a while the two can indeed become 'one'.
 read more...



The Adolescent Male Masturbatory Model of Sex

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, March 11, 2018



For generations we raised our girl children to think they’re not sexual, that they shouldn’t be sexual, and if they were sexual - stoning or burning them to death or locking them away in insane asylums. Women didn’t have a chance to explore their sexuality, and neither did their partners.

So, with no alternative, when a man married he basically kept on doing with his wife what he’d been doing with himself for years - masturbating. Since puberty the adolescent boy had been stroking his penis as fast as he could until he ejaculated. So when he got a female partner, not knowing any better, he kept doing that inside her.

Essentially men were masturbating inside their wives.
 read more...



Project 'Great Sex'

Jacqueline Hellyer - Monday, January 01, 2018




It's the new year, a time for committing to bettering yourself. What better area of life to commit to focusing on than your love life?!

Whether you're single or partnered, we can all focus on that fundamentally important contributor to health, happiness and well-being - your sexuality!

So I'd like to suggest you commit to a Year of Great Sex! Let's call it your 'Great Sex' Project.
 read more...



The Bedroom is for Expression, Not Suppression

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, December 03, 2017



Sex is one of the great forms of human self-expression. It's a place where creativity, physical movement, pleasure and joy can manifest, just like the other forms of human expression - music, art, design, dance, cooking, sport, even writing. 

 read more...



The Three Types of Sex All Couples Need

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, November 19, 2017



I like to divide sexual encounters in a long-term relationship into three types:

Simple Sex – short and comforting
Sensual Sex - luscious and bonding
Spicy Sex – exciting and adventurous
 read more...



Seven Benefits of Attending A LoveLife Couples Tantra Retreat

Jacqueline Hellyer - Sunday, July 23, 2017

https://youtu.be/f2XmB-_m1VY 

Taking a break together is always a good thing to do, helping you relax and rejuvenate and hopefully have some quality sexy time away from the stresses of everyday life.

So why would you add a couples retreat to your time away? What are the benefits to you of going to one of my LoveLife Couples Retreats?

Well, where do I start?! Feeling the love and connection in the group and seeing the couples blossom is an experience that’s hard to put into words.

But I’ll try...

 read more...



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