Download Audio: Ditch the Sex Myths
If you want to become a great lover and have wonderful sex, you have to ditch the myths that plague us.
Our society is full of sex myths. Because we don't talk openly about the details of our sex lives and there have been so many moral issues associated with sex for so long that so many beliefs are taken for truth. These beliefs are so entrenched they can be challenging to let go of, but until you do, you're holding yourself back. If you buy into a belief that there's something wrong or bad about being a certain way, you'll inevitably be judgmental about yourself and others.
Judgement is the biggest impediment to growth in any area, including sexuality.
I'm going to challenge you by starting with three big myths that are very entrenched in our society:
1. Men have evolved to 'sow their seed widely' and are therefore naturally non-monogamous
2. Women are naturally monogamous
3. Monogamy is naturally innate to humans
Not one of these myths is true!
I'm certainly not saying that we shouldn't be monogamous. Monogamy is a very good thing! But it's not the only way of relating sexually and it's not the only "right" way of relating. If you're constrained by a belief that it is, then you're limiting yourself, and you're limiting other people's choices too. If you accept that monogamy is a choice rather than an innate state, then that frees you up enormously. You'll ditch all the negativity that surrounds the beliefs and the shoulds and ought to's and allow yourself to be honest with yourself about what is really right for you, or others, sexually. This freedom and honesty will enable you to be free and honest in your communication with your sexual partner(s). That's what leads to good on-going sex over the long-term.
It's not just about big things like monogamy though. I find that people often hinder themselves with small beliefs, such as:
Then there are age-related myths such as:
There are plenty of myths around homosexuality vs heterosexuality (even if we've let of the big one that homosexuality is unnatural and wrong):
There are countless myths about male versus female sex roles, too many to go into here, but here are a few:
Then there are all those myths about what you should or shouldn't do sexually.
To quote from my book Sex Secrets for Busy People:
'If you think oral sex, anal sex, sex toys, erotic videos, crotchless knickers, latex catsuits, bondage, swinging, pain and pleasure or any other activity is wrong, evil, immoral and takes you straight to hell, well, it's time to loosen up and push those boundaries a little.'
Nevertheless, there are laws around sexual activity, and for good reason. These laws are meant to protect the innocents. But the healthiest attitude is that as long as the sexual activity is between consenting, living, adult, humans, then it's your personal choice, and nobody else's business but you and your partner(s).
Human sexuality is a wonderful thing, with so many possibilities, and so much potential for self-expression, self-knowledge and personal growth, not to mention bonding, pleasure, stress relief, well-being, better physical and mental health, and plain old fun!
To be able to make the most of your sexuality, start by ditching the myths that hold you back.
Explore Jacqueline’s online courses and choose the pathway that speaks to where you are now.
For Couples
Reconnect, communicate more openly and rediscover intimacy as a source of joy, playfulness and erotic aliveness.
Explore the Masterclass
For Men
Cultivate greater confidence, presence and pleasure while transforming the way you approach sex, intimacy and connection.
Explore the Course
For Women
Reconnect with your sensuality, confidence and pleasure, and embrace the fullness of who you are as a sexual being.
Explore the Course
If you've liked this free content, feel free to buy me a chai (I don't drink coffee)! Your donation supports me and my team in providing continued insights, wisdom and guidance so you can create the best love life possible!
Buy me a ChaiWith my Couples Intimacy Masterclass!
Jacqueline's regular column on Substack
Visit
Meet
Learn
Experience
