Download Audio: Playing with Pleasure and Pain
Playing along the borders of pleasure and pain can add delectable spice to your love life - although the thought of it can be pretty confusing and
scary.
So let me explain.
We all have pain thresholds, and the area around that threshold can be exquisitely delightful - if approached in a safe and relaxed manner.
Sportspeople do it all the time: the runner’s high, the endorphin rush of lifting heavy weights repetitively - it’s one of the reasons people love sport and physical activity. I used to train intensively in the marital arts and would take a beating several times a week and would dish it out just as strongly. It was great!
This is all considered ‘normal’ behaviour. In fact, when sportspeople push themselves, they are lauded and praised. Yet those who do it sexually are often considered deviant.
Pushing the boundaries of pleasure and pain in physical activity only works if it’s done carefully. You have to warm up, you have to know your limits, you have to develop at your own pace, and those you’re playing with have to know and respect your limits too, as well as their own.
As a high level black belt I would train with my black belt peers very differently than I would with new students. With the newbies, there was a lot of instruction on staying safe, and the instruction on safety would change as the skill level grew.
It’s the same with pain play. We all have different erotic interests and different limits. I know people who like to put hooks through their skin and swing from the ceiling. Yikes! That is most definitely not something I want to do! But good luck to them; from what I’ve observed, their level of care in preparation is akin to that of parachutists. I’ve also watched people create intricate designs in needles on other people’s chests. Again, yikes! No-one is putting needles in my skin (unless they’re an acupuncturist); but again, the people I’ve observed in needle play do have the same level of care and hygiene as any medical professional (in fact a lot of them are in the medical professions!)
I’ve deliberately used a couple of quite extreme examples there, there’s not a lot of hook or needle play going on in the bedrooms of Australia, nor need there be. However, it seems there’s not a lot of playing going on full stop, and this is one area where you can have some fun exploring. Such as:
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